Emptiness
by ChocoCatXX
Summary: It used to be a good life. I was always cheerful and carefree. I might still be, if not for what happened seven years ago. Because even time cannot dull my pain. I just feel...empty and hollow. Set in AU X791, Juvia's point of view.


Author's Note

Okay, so this is just a random angsty fic about Juvia if she hadn't gone to Tenrou Island, but Gray had. It's set in X791, when the Tenrou Team came back, only in this story they don't come back. They're actually…gone. It's probably really random and bad writing, but I had to get this off my head. So please…uh…enjoy…no that's not the right word for a sad story…hmm…appreciate it.

I walk slowly along the pebbled beach, staring out at the sunset. I bathe in the salty sea air, because it's always been here that I could think clearly and feel unrestrained. Away from the ocean, I'd always feel kind of…smothered. Then suddenly the tears spring to my eyes. It's been like that for seven years now. I'd just spontaneously start crying, and everyone else would shy away from me. Especially after the time I flooded the whole of Magnolia. I'd long since given up on restraining my tears. I just let them come. They're my only friends now.

Along my stretch of beach, I abruptly turn upon hearing voices. It's a pure tinkling sound of laughter, coming from a pretty brown haired girl. She's standing knee deep in the sea, not really caring about the waves slopping against her white dress. She's not really caring about anything, because she's standing with a good looking boy with his arms around her. They look happy. They're gazing at the sunset, not aware of the world around them. I used to be like that too.

There was a time where I was the girl. I'd run across the sand with my blue hair flying. I'd laugh because you'd be right behind me, and then you'd catch up to me. We'd collapse on the sand laughing together, staring at the sunset until we fell asleep or Erza caught us. Everything was like this

Until you left. You left those happy days behind. You left the guild behind. You left me behind. I'd really thought that finally this could be it. You'd finally confessed to me, and everything was just perfect. But we'd only got a few weeks together. I'd never even had time to really, truly, seriously tell you that

'_I love you'_

I catch the boy whispering to the girl. At hearing this, I start sprinting. I need to get away. I need to get away from that couple and their happiness. They have no right to be happy. The world should all be dismal and gloomy and dark, because you were the light in my life and now you're gone. You're gone and you never even said,

'_I love you'_

It's okay, because I really hate you now. I really hate everyone now. Mostly myself. At first my friends were supportive. Then they grew tired of me and my grief. They'd long gotten over their losses. After all, they hadn't lost much. At most a friend.

I'd lost you.

So I eventually left Magnolia for a few years. Then I had to return. I had to return to the places where we shared happy times. I had to return to your…grave. To complete my daily ritual of kneeling against the cool marble and crying my heart out.

There was a while where I really went into a downward spiral. I'd even stopped talking in third person. It just began with light alcohol, then it worsened rapidly. There were nights where I'd drunk more than Cana.

Cana…

Another loved one I'd lost. She was one of my best friends. She was one of the first to accept me. I'd never told anyone this, but every time I was going through something awful, I'd remember what Cana told me.

'_You're a brilliant member of Fairy Tail!'_

she'd said. Those simple words reminded me that I had the guild by my side. I had my nakama.

Well, I used to anyway.

Anyway.

Now I had nothing to keep me going. There were times when I'd cut myself.

There were times I'd seriously contemplated ending my own life.

But those days are gone now. Now are the days when I wake up and…

I stare into the mirror at the face trapped behind the glass. For one second, I think I see an image from the past; a girl who is radiant, happy, bright and free. Then she's gone. She's replaced by a hollow broken shell…a gaunt face that has not worn a smile for seven years now. I remember how you would place your hand gently on my shoulder, and I'd take it, and you'd smile at me and suddenly it's alright again…But it will never be alright again now. You're gone, and they say you died seven years ago on Tenrou Island. You died and you aren't coming back.

Then the rest of the day would slowly drag by. I'd eat when I felt like it. I'd go on missions occasionally. I'd flood the house too. Anything to dull the pain.

All that never worked.

My feet begin to take me further and further away from the beach. I didn't even really know where I was headed until I saw a mass of cool marble right in front of my eyes. It was the graveyard. My feet had trodden this familiar path thousands of times before, so it was little surprise I'd ended up here. Even so…

I let my hand rest on the stone, tracing over the neatly inscribed letters. They were cold, dripping with false sympathy. They were empty and hollow. Like me.

_In loving memory of Gray Fullbuster, who passed away seven years ago on Tenrou Island. May his spirit live on in us always._

Empty, hollow words…

I reach to my neck, to the necklace I wore every day. It was the one you gave me the day you left for that stupid S class trial. You'd said,

'_Don't worry, Juvia! I'll be back in a few days. Here, have this. I'm coming back, I promise!'_

Empty, hollow words…

I tear off the necklace and impulsively throw it across the gaping chasm ten metres away from the graves. I watch it disappear, and feel a moment of satisfaction.

Then I just feel empty and hollow again.


End file.
